The nerve of Ralph telling me not to hunt. Ralph doesn't know what hes talking about, him and his oppressive rules. We don't need shelter we want meat!! Besides who even wants to build shelter, me and my hunters don't and its what I'm good at hunting pigs. Soon ill kill a pig and everyone will run and praise me for catching a pig. Ralph doesn't understand what our real needs are. We need to learn to survive, how to kill, not how to build a house. Some times his choices bewilder me.
If i were the leader, id have more hunting. The little ones cant do much so I would have older boys to teach them how to hunt and live on an island. We would learn how to survive and start a new world and way rather than just doing the same as we used to. The rules would be different too. If some one went against us, we would kick them out of our land. I would be powerful, and even the hair on the back of a pig would rise. If i were in charge, piggy would be kicked out for flaunting my rules like not helping when we made the fire and just having such stupid ideas.I hate Piggy, hes an annoying little fatty. If it weren't for Ralph, i would take him out with my own barb.
At least i get to go out and hunt. Just being out there listening to the wilderness and your heart beating. You clamber around festooned in tendril and vines. You wait for a while with an inscrutable urge to kill something. Then by the time a pig comes around your already part of the forest. You furtively sneak up behind it while being hidden by the mud as a natural camouflage. Then when you see their eyes glimmer... BAM!! You strike it and it gets caught with the barb of your spear. Then you just slit the neck and kill it. Its wonderful.
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5 comments:
Luis Great writing! You have powerful images and thoughts that really bring Jack alive. This passage is filled with savage emotion and really captures Jack's voice. The best part for me was when Jack was waiting for the pig to come at the end.
Kira
Luis-
I liked when you said "You clamber around festooned in tendrils and vines. " because you used both words correctly and it was a good way to describe and show you know the meaning of the words.
Luis-
I really like the way that you show Jack's thoughts on if he was the leader. There are a few technical errors where you need to fix some spelling or grammar. These are mainly "i". Good job.
-Emma
GREAT JOB LUIS
The anger is rich in Jack's mouth! I can almost feel my mouth foaming up! Remember to use spell check.
-pat-
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